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JUNK!
most junk news bring dave back. -
GAY
i'm moving -
RIDE THE DUCKS
As much as I loathe the fucking Ride The Ducks garbage barge that clogs this already disgustly groutesque city, it has taught me a huge lesson today: Ride The Ducks is a perfect metaphor for the decline of our civilization. Here's why: I'm driving. I look, or should I say, listen, to my right, to see the RTD barge goosestepping down Market Street. It is filled with little Philadelphia school kids, quacking away and singing. They are singing "YMCA" by the Village People. So here it is, a diesel spewing Third World motor home filled with inner city kids singing a song that was basically written by a bunch of S&M pillow-bitters about the merits of anonymous blowjobs in a late 1970's Bay Area Hostel, while their little pre-pubescent lips are wrapped around yellow phallic shaped Duck bills...slowly diving into the shithole, Cancer spill we call the Delaware River. WHAT THE FUCK. Has the world gone nuts? Does anyone see the sheer irony in this??? This shit is pure Augusteen Burroughs ...These kids have enough problems... "Hey Jamal, how was the field trip?" "Oh, it was awesome... we sang Ace of Base and Wham! all day while I sucked on a yellow plastic dildo and waved to all my Dad's friends... gotta go now and get more disturbed". As for me, I looked to my left to see if the car next to me noticed any of this...its a mercury cougar. I see no one driving it. Thats because the driver is completely HORIZONTAL. Not "laid back", not "chillin'", but COMPLETELY FUCKING HORIZONTAL. What are you? A fucking SPACEMAN? Are you a cosmonaut? Why the fuck do you have to be LYING DOWN when driving? Is your penis the odometer? Is it that fucking tiring to drive? Are your feet controling the wheel? You look like you are on a slab in a morgue. Is cadaver the new ghetto fabulous? All I want to do is honk my horn until an eight year old girl carjacks me and then proceeds to eat mint jelly from my hypothalmus.
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star wars= college virgin
whack it to this shit -
ohio?
are you dudes really goin to ohio? i need to get a ride with you, so please let me know. holla!!!!! -
man vs. beast
donkey punch -
NOT JUNK
Don't thank me, thank Tila -
TWIST @ Deitch
this saturday. -
kettering-zo
fuck. lets go. next weekend? i'm ready...that spot looks like it rules....but it's in ohio...so that means that the ledges won't grind, and they'll kick you out of the spot or something. ohio sucks. sorry nick. cinncinati is the exception...yeah. -
NO TIGHT PANTS
That's right, 1st Thursday is only a day away and that means the infamous NO TIGHT PANTS party will be in full effect! It takes place this Thursday May 5th at the usual location the legendary Khyber bar on 2nd and Chestnut Sts. situated in the heart of lovely Olde City Filthadelphia. DJ's WEEZ and HALFBREED will be on hand spinning cyclones on the 1 and 2's to get yer rump bumpin, humpin, funkin and jumpin to the nasty beats of the streets. So come one, come all so we can turn this party out. Hope ta see you there!! << First < Prev || Next > Last >>
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